Private Messages: Should You Reply To Them All?

sad teenage girl video messaging mobile phone

The good news is your online dating profile is proving popular and the private messages have started to flood in. Lucky you! But, you’ve found yourself asking, “should I be replying to every message I receive?

Lots of online daters believe that you should reply to every message, even if it is just a “thanks, but no thanks” out of politeness. It’s inevitable that you’ll receive messages from members who are very nice but after viewing their profile, you instinctively know that they’re just not what you’re looking for. And, while politely letting them know that you aren’t interested may seem like the decent thing to do, sometimes it might be kinder not to say anything at all.

When faced with the decision between being ignored or rejected, most people will find it easier to just be ignored. A response along the lines of “thanks for the message, but I don’t find you attractive” has to be more of a kick in the teeth, than no message at all. If you don’t respond, the sender is left to make up their own mind about the reason; maybe you’re busy, maybe you’re already dating someone. This way, you can both move on to focusing on finding your perfect match.

If you’re the sender of the ignored message, it’s important not to take the silence personally. Remember, we can’t be everyone’s type and not everyone is going to be our type. Take the positive out of this and instead of waiting forever for them to respond, use your time to search for and message the people that you do have a connection with.

With this in mind, try to make sure that you aren’t ruling anyone out too soon. Their first message may not give much away, but remember that there could be much more to this person than first meets the eye. Unless you’re absolutely sure, sometimes it’s worth giving someone that you might not initially consider to be ‘your type’ a chance. You never know, they could turn out to be the one!

When it comes to online dating, use your time wisely. Of course, there is nothing wrong with acknowledging someone that has taken the time to message you, but just don’t feel like you must reply to every single person. Sometimes it’s worth remembering that childhood lesson; “if you haven’t got anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.

Until next time, 

The Just Singles Team.

About the author…


Emma is an Email Marketing Executive. She went to Bournemouth Arts University and has a degree in Fashion Studies. She has a love for vintage markets and enjoys nothing more than a weekend at a muddy music festival.

One response to “Private Messages: Should You Reply To Them All?”

  1. Lin Perry says:

    Thanks, but no thanks