What To Do When They Won’t Let Go
Whether you’ve been together for years or have only been talking for a few weeks, breaking things off with someone who still thinks there’s something there is tricky. You know you don’t have feelings for them anymore and it will never work out, but they’re still holding on. So how do you deal with someone who just doesn’t want to let go?
First and foremost, make sure that you make your intentions clear from the beginning of the break up. If you know that you definitely don’t want to be with them, don’t give them any false hope; make it absolutely clear that there’s no going back. Sometimes it feels kinder to say “maybe in the future” or “I still want to see you” to soften the blow, but it will just keep them hanging on for no reason. It might be easier to make it out to be some sort of break rather than a definite end, but you need to rip the plaster off now to avoid giving them any further heartbreak down the line.
It’s nice to think that we can stay friends and keep updated on each other’s lives from time to time, but sometimes it’s just too much for the other person and will feed their aspiration to get back together with you. Delete them from social media for a while or at least make it so you’re invisible to them.
One of the toughest things about going through a break up is going from texting and talking all the time to nothing at all, but if they’re constantly trying to contact you, you need to be the bad guy and ignore their attempts. It might take hours, days, even weeks for them to give up, but eventually they’ll get the message. Remember that texting back even once could start it all off again; just ignore them and resist the urge to tell them to do one!
Now that you’ve cut off contact in the digital world, they’ll probably turn to mutual pals to find out what’s going on with you, so it’s time to re-evaluate your ‘real’ friends. Avoid talking to any mutual friends you have together about anything to do with your love life; as soon as you tell them something, a different version of events will be getting back to the other person in no time. Save all the intimate details about your life for your closest friends, the ones who have always kept your deepest, darkest secrets!
It’s important to remember that although they may be acting a little bit crazy, it’s coming from a place of loneliness and poor self-worth. Sometimes we depend on each other more than we should in relationships, and it’s very hard to cope when that’s taken away. The sooner you let them let go, the sooner you can both move on!
Until next time,
The Just Singles Team.
About the author…
Rachel is a Marketing Executive. She’s obsessed with Game of Thrones and country music. Her favourite pastime is cuddling up with her two Labradors and binge watching Netflix.