What Should I Write In My First Message?

Lovely woman using a notebook

Their photo has caught your eye and you’ve had a peek at their profile two or three times – you definitely want to message this person. You go to write a message, the cursor is blinking, your fingers are resting on the keyboard waiting to write something enticing… but now you’re stuck.

The great thing about online dating compared to meeting someone at a bar is that you can extensively plan your opening line, but sometimes we can be a bit too careful, and the excitement of starting a conversation suddenly turns into anxiety. Don’t fear! We’re always here to help at Just Singles, so let’s bite the bullet and write something awesome…

No ‘text talk’
Let’s leave this to the kids. First impressions are everything; QWERTY keys are on practically every phone now, so even if you’re on the move, there’s no excuse for grammatical laziness. This is a real pet peeve for some people; you don’t want them to think you’ve rushed your message.

Talk about a common interest
Your potential love interest will feel really special if they know you’ve taken the time to carefully read their profile. Read what they’ve written a few times over and pick a common interest or an interesting fact about them to start a conversation. Taking an interest in their interests gives you a great chance of a reply.

Nothing suggestive 
If you write anything risqué in your first message, don’t expect a reply back. In fact, you can expect them to press the delete button without a second thought. Even if you meant it to be a joke, when they’re reading the words on their screen, there’s a strong chance they’ll take it the wrong way. This just gives the wrong impression.

Be honest
They’re probably just as nervous as you, maybe they’re wondering what to say too! The ability to put yourself out there is a very attractive quality and will set you apart from all the other unread messages in their inbox. Wear your heart on your sleeve every once in a while and someone might open up to you too.

Have we missed anything out? Let us know and share your helpful tips below!

About the author…


Rachel is an Email Marketing Executive. She’s obsessed with Game of Thrones and country music. Her favourite pastime is cuddling up with her two Labradors and binge watching Netflix.