Most people have never heard of the bad dating trend cushioning, but it’s common. It’s not OK and the first step towards stamping it out is to learn exactly what it is and what you can do about it…

What Is Cushioning?

You find someone you really like. They message you all the time, say nice things to you and you may even meet up from time to time. The only problem is, they’re in a relationship. They’re not interested in a relationship with you but they want to keep you around and stay in your good books, just in case their relationship doesn’t work out. You are just there to ‘cushion the blow’, hence they are cushioning you.

Does It Happen A Lot?

It does but a lot of the time it’s not that easy to spot. Don’t get us wrong, people can be friends with those in relationships and it’s fine. But should you find yourself having feelings for this person, or feel like they are treating you almost as if you are in a relationship without actually being in one, this is not OK.

What Do I Do If I Get Cushioned?

Be honest with them first of all. Tell them that you are only interested in them if they are single. If they still don’t get the hint and continue to try and keep you around, now is the time to cease contact. You deserve to be more than a plan B or a second choice. Find someone who can commit to you and make you a priority.

How Do I Avoid Cushioning Someone?

If you’re the one in the relationship and you know that you’re cushioning – STOP! You need to make a decision. Are you happy in your relationship? Can you make it work? If you think you can, put all your effort into it and stop communicating with anyone you see as a back-up plan. You are only leading them on which isn’t fair. If you want to stay friends with them you can, but set out boundaries. If you can’t make your relationship work, break it off and spend some time alone concentrating on you and what you want. Jumping straight into a new relationship is never a good idea.

Sadly this isn’t the only bad dating trend out there. We’ve made a list.

Until next time,

The Just Singles Team