If you binge read profiles, you start to notice that by the tone and content of the profile, you can sort all singles into four groups (with some eccentrics that stand out of course). At JustSingles we’re always reading profiles, so we’ve noticed this. Now we’re sharing our findings with you and delving into what’s written between the lines, and working out: what is this person really saying, and are they the right person for you?

Firstly, ever read something like this?

“I’m fun, low-maintenance, easy-going and generous. I’m looking for a partner to spoil, cook for and take care of.”

This is classic ‘Nice Guy/Girl’ material.

This person will treat you like absolute royalty! They will like everything you like and you will wear the trousers in this relationship. They are trustworthy, and will be the first person to arrange the second date. Which is great, if you’re not easily bored. By date three there is real danger of the novelty wearing off, and you may find yourself trying to get this person to show emotion or talk about something interesting. This profile is probably the most frequent tone we see. It’s the kind of profile that’s been written to please everyone. A people-pleaser is not for everyone, are they right for you?

Next, there’s these sorts of profiles…

“I’m NOT lively, optimistic or bubbly; at least not all of the time. I can be quite funny, at least people say I am!”

This is a self-critical ‘Cynic’.

They’re sarcastic, cynical and a bit dark. This person will most probably have a dry sense of humour, and will be the first to talk themselves down and make fun of themselves. If you’re looking for someone funny, you’ve hit the jackpot. This cruel humour can be sexy and different, but these people are very negative. Anyone who lists the things they are not in their profile is a glass half-full kind of person. If you’re looking for a ray of sunshine, this is not the person for you, they’re a bit stormy…

What do you think of this one?

“I’m a bit of crypto-communist and I like my bourgeois comforts. Pop-culture is so overrated and merely a product of a capitalist soceity. I’m looking for deep conversation…’ (continues for six paragraphs).

This a definite sign of ‘The Thinker’.

If you are very familiar with crypto-communism, and you read this excerpt and understood the whole thing, then please! You need to date this person, because I think you must be made for each other! If someone’s profile is full of terms and beliefs you don’t understand or believe in, it’s best to walk away. Beliefs are a good thing, but for someone to write about them so strongly in a public dating profile shows that they are very important to them, and they are not subject to change. This is a stubborn person, so there’s no point arguing, or dating, if you don’t agree.

Never fear, there’s always this person…

“I’m looking for my soulmate; a special someone who can warm my heart with one smile. Someone who isn’t afraid to love.’

Read this? You’ve got a ‘Hopeless Romantic‘ on your hands.

If you’re looking for romance, this is the one for you. Prepare for many hours staring into each others eyes and fairy lights and candles galore. It’s not all candy hearts and unicorns though with this type, they will throw themselves into a relationship so fast you will not even have time to think. They are the most emotional, and it is always hard to tell if they will be just as romantic after the honeymoon period is over.

Now you’ve read this, have a look at your own dating profile. What type do you fit into? Is it accurate? If it isn’t, you may need to do a bit of tweaking, so you make a good impression. The first rule of dating profiles is to be yourself, so that’s who you need to reflect.

Got any profiles you need decoding? Let us know in the comments and we’ll see what we can do.

Until next time,

The Just Singles Team