The Great Escape
It’s a question that is asked universally… how do you get out of a bad date?
”Run Forest, Run!’‘
No no, you can’t do that. Unless you’re feeling utterly terrified, and you actually make like Usain and BOLT… in which case we’d love to hear about your ‘meet and run‘ stories, you Olympic escape artist, you!
Arguably one of the most awkward and uncomfortable experiences in the world… the bad date. A disastrous occasion that leaves the worst feeling in the pit of your belly. It’s worse than that feeling you get from hearing the famous ”I‘m not angry, i’m just disappointed”. Every bad date situation is different, but ultimately, you’re in this moment, with this person, when all you really want, is to be anywhere but in this moment, with anyone but this person! No time for Pimm’s o’clock.. it’s bail o’clock.
For whatever reason, this is NOT what you pictured (unless of course it literally is and your date happens to be a whiz with an expensive camera and some clever lighting! Go figure!) Either way, you need to exit stage left! So unless you’ve got any footwear from sports direct hidden in a purse or a pocket, you’d better consider one of the following;
Meet, greet and self-sabotage!
You’ve met, you’ve said hi, but it’s already obvious to you it’s a no-deal, so excuse yourself in a slight fluster as you need to pop to the loo but you’ll be right back. You’ve got two options from here; you can jump on the midnight express, escape and not re-appear to your date. Or, you can rough up your mane, splash a bit of water on your face and appear to be coming down with a fever, and must go straight to bed. You make your necessary apologies and hit the road!
Enter your pre-planned sabotaging (saviour) of a friend…
We all know this one! (Ladies I am predominantly looking at you!) Your Oscar- nominee pal is waiting in the wings for the signal to swoop in and save you, thus resulting in a well deserved Bafta for them, and sweet, wonderful freedom for you. Clever you; everyone knows three is a crowd in a date, where typically the magic number is two! Of course you can use this, without your pal being present. Just get them to buzz you 20-40 mins into the date, and you can act your way out from here… maybe your friend locked them self out of their apartment and you need to rush back with the spare key… (or something along those lines) However, I urge you, to think of something perhaps a little less transparent!
Too Fast too furious!
Nothing repels a potential partner quicker than this one! You’re desperate to be married, it’s all you ever dreamed of… and you have it all planned out in your head. The wedding, the little house you’ll both have, the dog, the kids (complete with names). But you just met!? Ready for the cloud of dust your date will have just left behind the roadrunner style exit! Bravo you! Now enjoy that glass of vino and breathe that free air! (Either that or you’ll find yourself in Vegas standing in the very spot that Britney spears stood, while Mr wrong stands in the partner position, and you’re thinking ”this wasn’t how this was supposed to go!’‘)
Drop the ‘F’ bomb..
The word ‘Friend’. The immediate ‘it’s definitely not going anywhere‘ card. Extremely popular and allows for maximum damage control. How nice of you! In all situations, no-one enjoys rejecting someone. It’s not a nice feeling for them but it’s something you can’t help. So this option is a good way of maneuvering around the underlying truth… they just aren’t the one for you, but you’d really like to stay friends! That, of course, is up to you in due course.
Honesty might be the best policy here.
Just what it says on the tin. Whoever you’re dealing with, be it a persistent Peter, eager Betty or a craving Casanova, just tell it how it is. They just aren’t the butter to your bread, the yin to your yang. You’re really sorry but you wish them well. You can then part ways happily knowing you dealt with the situation honestly.
These are just a few tricks from the long list of clever little get-out plans for a much needed ‘bad date‘ escape! Tried and tested by millions no doubt! Whatever works for you, we won’t judge! Just get out! Save yourself! Go, go, go!
Do you have your own bad date escape plans? Let us know below!
Until next time,
The Just Singles Team.
About the author…
Ciara is an up and coming creative writing extraor
Met elderly guy – he said 73, more like 83 – (I’m 72) through Saga magazine ad and agreed to go to his place for lunch on a strictly platonic basis. He clearly expected me to stay the night and I had to pretend I was ringing my cat-sitter for permission to stay out – but actually left the message on my own ansafone saying ‘if you don’t call back within 30 mins I’ll be coming home’. I eventually got away but the randy old goat hissed through my car window ‘next time I want you to share my bed’ UGH!! Needless to say – there will not be a next time and meetings with others will always be on neutral territory.
Funny. I usually have the call ready 45 minutes in and then blame my sons for something and need to dash before one of them kills the other, which anyone with boys know could be true! 😉
That was extremely entertaining, brings back so many memories. All three escape routes have been tried and tested… Can’t wait for your next blog!