We all know that feeling when you’ve found someone you like the look of, you’ve read through their profile and spent ages admiring their photos, then spent even longer staring at a blank page trying to think of what to write in that all-important first message.

Imaging your profile is your C.V. and your first message is your covering letter when you apply for a new job. Your profile text should be an overview of your hobbies, interests and what you are looking for on the site. Your first message can then go into a bit more detail and this should always be tailored individually to each person you contact.

The Opener

Make sure that you address the person you’re contacting by name. This shows that it’s not a “copy & paste” message sent to a large group of people. After this, introduce yourself but keep it brief. Your profile text should do the talking when it comes to a detailed explanation about yourself.

The Hard Sell

Next, explain why you think you are a good match. Try to pick something out from their profile, such as a shared interest rather than “You live near me…” as this can look lazy.  If you share some of the same hobbies this is a great thing to mention.  Maybe you’ve been on holiday to the same place or have the same favourite meal.  If you don’t have any shared interests, don’t worry… As they say, opposites attract!  Just remember that the point of your message is to “sell yourself” so make sure you have this covered.

The Questions

Asking questions is without a doubt the most important thing when writing a message.  The aim is to engage the other person in an interesting and meaningful conversation and there is no better way to do this than asking questions.  If you do have shared interests that you’ve mentioned already, try follow-up questions regarding these.  If not, ask anything you’d like to know about them.  (Just be sure not to ask things that have already been answered in their profile as this will look like you’ve not read it properly!)

The Clincher

Use your closing paragraph to re-iterate any important points that you feel are necessary and finish with a line that politely and indirectly asks for a response. Try to avoid things like “Message me back as soon as possible” and go for a more casual “Hope to hear from you soon”.

Follow this format and you should find that you not only receive more responses to your messages, but those responses you receive will be more engaging and interesting.

Until next time,

The Just Singles Team