How To: Ask Someone Out


Oh, what a feeling… When you’re swapping messages with someone on JustSingles. But eventually you’ll want to meet this person in real life, to discover if they’re telling the truth about that unusual party trick they reeled you in with. But how do you take the plunge? How do you ask someone out? Would you, err, like to read our guide?


First of all, before you even start talking to anyone, work out what it is you want. Do you just want an online friend? Or are you hoping for long-term romance? Think ideal scenario. Once you have this in your head it’ll help you naturally steer the conversation that way. If you are thinking long-term, always remember that your goal here is to meet in real life. Obviously people are looking for different things, so it’s a good idea to casually ask them in the early stages, “What are you looking for on here?”


Sense where your conversation feels like it’s going. Do they seem genuinely interested? Are they asking lots of questions and answering yours? Are you finding yourself hanging on their every typed word? If it feels right, you’re ready to build up to asking them out. A top tip is to start hinting, and taking note of their reaction. Try saying, “I love talking to you on here, but wouldn’t it be amazing if we talked in person?” If they answer, “Hell yeah!” or something along those lines, then you’ll feel a lot less nervous when asking, and the other person has time to think and catch up to where you are at. If they don’t react well, at least you know.


Time to ask. Choose a date that’s easy and low-maintenance, like grabbing a coffee. Once they agree to this suggest TWO different days, for example, Friday night or Saturday afternoon. This shows that you respect that they are a busy, in demand person, but also gets them more involved in arranging this date, therefore more invested. Plus you’re increasing your chances that they will be free! Now is the perfect time to ask for their phone number, “Just in case something comes up.” Result!


Meeting someone for the first time is a big step, so remember to arrange the first date in a public place and tell someone where you are going, who you’re meeting and when you will be back. Also trust your instincts. Just because someone has asked you to meet, it doesn’t mean you have to. Never feel pressured to meet if you are unsure. Just answer,” I’d prefer it if we got to know each other a bit through messages first.” If they’re worth meeting, they’ll respect your decision and wait till you are ready.

Until next time,

The Just  Singles Team