Have Better Conversations
Want to meet someone with charm, wit and charisma? Don’t we all! So here’s how you can be that person and really start talking the talk on dates…
How Deep Is Your Love?
There are three levels of conversation, each deeper than the last:
Level 1 – Playing It Safe
If it’s a first date, keep it simple to avoid scaring them off or seeming too intense, at least at the beginning of the date. Talk about sports, the weather, celebrities and your present shared experiences, “Doesn’t that barman over there look like Phillip Schofield?!”
Level 2 – Testing, Testing
If your level 1 conversation has gone well, try a few more deeper topics to test them. Mention things like religion, politics and any causes you really believe in. If you make a point or express a bold opinion, always follow it with, “What do you think?” as this will make you look open to new ideas. Even if you don’t agree with their views always listen to them. If they seem uninterested or don’t seem to give you much back, move back to level 1 for a bit. We recommend only bringing these topics up at least well into the first date, but ideally on a second or third date.
Level 3 – Get Personal
To really get to know them, use topics from the deepest level of conversation. Talk about family, finance, health and work. These are very personal and close to home, so work your way into their world first of all, by mastering the two other levels first.
Interested = Interesting
Everyone tends to talk too much when they’re nervous, but remember, it takes two to have a good conversation! Good listeners are very attractive and most people love being listened to and feeling like they are interesting. Ask them lots of open questions about themselves and try to draw out the real them. Open questions allow the person to elaborate and be in control of how much they reveal to you, making them feel more comfortable. So instead of asking, “Do you own your house?” try, “Tell me about where you live.”
- Make eye contact
- Give positive feedback to what they say, even if it’s an enthusiastic “Yeah!” or “Amazing!”
- Ask lots of questions
- Don’t interrupt, wait until they’ve finished speaking
- Repeat something they said later on in the date, to show that you were listening
So to recap, use the appropriate level of conversation, act interested and ask loads of questions! Great talking to you…
Until next time,
The Just Singles Team