Do You Know The 4 A’s?
So you’ve bagged a date, you know what you’re wearing, you get there on time. Now it’s time to make conversation, (prolonged dead silence). You’ll be fine if you remember the 4 A’s. Not sure what they are? Let us fill you in on the secrets of being a great date conversationalist…
Ask them questions about themselves. This takes the pressure off of you and helps you to discover how compatible you are. If you’ve never been on a date where they just talk about themselves constantly and you can’t get a word in (I’m sure we’ve all been there) let me tell you, it doesn’t quite make you yearn for a second date… Keep questions light, save the heavy stuff for a later date or after the drinks have been flowing a bit. Also ask open questions to encourage conversation, like instead of “Did you have a good day at work?” ask “What was the highlight of your day today?”
Great light topics to discuss: Their interests, their work or something you’s spoken about previously in messages.
No one really enjoys being put on the spot. Nerves about which questions you’ll be asked on a date are completely normal. Try and answer as if all your friends are sitting behind you, listening in. That way you can imagine your answers being judged but not too harshly. You still want to be honest. If you get asked a closed question, like “Do you like going to the cinema?” try not to reply with a one word answer. Elaborate! Say “Yes I do! Have you seen (film name)?” If your conversation goes off on a tangent – this is a really good sign! It means you’re getting on, so go with it!
Everyone loves to hear a story. Be prepared with a few before your date. Remember to keep them to the point, short snappy stories will catch their attention more. Don’t fret about unnecessary details – keep it to the point. They don’t need to be about amazing things like trekking through Borneo, they could literally be short funny stories about something that’s happened to you. Try telling a story about something funny that has happened to you at work, or on the bus? Maybe something embarrassing that has happened on a previous date?
After the date, analyse how conversation went. If it flowed naturally, if you were somewhat relaxed and managed to let your guard down, if you have no idea where the last three hours went and had a great time – you’re onto a winner. Yay! If they talked constantly about themselves and asked you nothing, answered with one word answers, told long boring stories or no stories at all and you became so bored you started wondering whether you should wear black or brown shoes tomorrow – then your date clearly didn’t read this blog, and you can do so much better!
There you have it, you sweet talker you! Always remember the 4 As on every date you go on.
Until next time,
The Just Singles Team