Dating As A Parent
This week Hayley talks about the reality of dating as a single parent…
The world of dating is complicated at the best of times, but imagine how much harder it is when you have a child.
The challenge of balancing parenthood with romance is one that I haven’t yet faced. However I am noticing an increase in my friends having babies! Amy, my old roommate from college, contacted me last month on Facebook. I hadn’t seen or heard from her in years and as we “friended” each other, I got myself up to speed with her life. Shortly after graduation she worked for a publishing company. She then met and married her husband. Unfortunately the marriage didn’t last and since last year she has been a single mom of one beautiful daughter. Amy invited me to her apartment for a reunion. I also got to meet her gorgeous baby Tatiana.
“So how’s life?” I asked. Amy told me that she was just getting back into the dating scene.
“It’s hard”, she answered. “I automatically expect less because I know having a child is unappealing for most men”.
As difficult as it was for me to swallow, I got thinking about what she said… ‘does that old stereotype about dating as a single parent still hold true? Really?!’
Although Amy was smart, beautiful, in great shape and had a steady job, she was right. The few single moms and dads I’d come across all echoed her remark. They expected less because having a child is seen as a liability. This saddened me. So I put the feelers out and my social circle led me to Henry; a dad of three whom after his divorce two years ago finally remarried.
Henry said that being a parent comes first. Partners may change but family is constant. Everyone gets lonely but parental duties come first. I asked him how he met his new wife. I presumed that parents looking for love are less willing to check out bars and clubs where the focus is on fun rather than commitment. “I tried looking online”, he said. “There are websites for everything these days, even single parents! But I found Vanessa through a mutual friend”.
“I never thought to ask her out because I assumed she wouldn’t be interested in a guy with three children. But we grew closer and it just happened. Romance”.
Henry’s story heartened me and I relayed his message to Amy.
I know it isn’t easy for anyone to find “the One” but when you have a little person relying on you as well, love seems like a luxury you just can’t afford. I am a firm believer that we get what we expect. If you are resigned to second best from the start, you’re not going to see the opportunities in front of you.
So even if your little bundle(s) of joy keep you run off your feet for most of the day, take 3 minutes out to hop online, and who knows? Mr or Mrs Right could be just a few clicks away…
Until next time,
The Just Singles Team.
I would like to be added to your site
It’s really easy to become a member, all you need to do is head over to the sign up page, enter a few details and you’re in!
The Just Singles Team
I would like to meet someone sincere,honest and with a good sense of humor age between 25-45
my hobbies are travelling ,reading and reading
I am almost 33, don’t look a day over 21 honestly. I get told all the time by work colleagues I look younger than I am. I am looking for a polite young lady between the age of 25 – 30, who enjoys socialising. Also enjoys staying in and having a glass of wine or 2, learning and getting to know each other. I did use to have a kid, unfortunately he got adopted behind my back, which for a while messed me up. Now I live everyday as if it was my last, as you never know for any of us whats round the corner. I work in a hotel, love my job sincerely and the people I work with, luv blondes and brunettes. If u r interested in getting to know me please respond, enjoy going out for meals, playing Snooker and Pool. Love all sports, that includes Ice – Skating. I am an X – Factor freak.xx
I have found it even harder, dating as a single dad. I have been on other sites one even christain.
I have also met one or two lady’s, But as as soon as we meet up, I am told they are interested in me but without my son. I am a package, my 6yrs old and me, I was there at his birth, cut his cord and been for him ever since and intend to stay they way, He is the apple of my eye and I am an hands on dad.
I will be joining as a full member at Just Single Parents so I cant comment on this site as yet.
So I understand where your coming from, as its just as bad for us single dads.
Hi Hayley…..im John from Scotland and your story was touching. I dont have any kids,though i went with a girl with 3-all girls too(believe you me i know where you are coming from,it’s not easy),but the rewards are priceless,and dont think your trapped….you just need to keep trying to find the right guy and believe me,they aren’t easy to find,but they are there:-especially with your looks…it can’t be that hard lass.
Hello I m black BRITISH woman looking for christian from Scotland or Newcastle for long relationship age 45 to 50 all my love
hi everyone if you want a nice very quiet ladey well sorry thats not me my house is allways full an i love it i feel younger everyday marie
hi ladys im looking for a date in the st.Austell or truro any lady intrested please email me thank you
i’m 32 looking for a woman between 30 t0 40
Where do you live? We’d love to help you find someone special.
The Just Dating Group Team.
i am 68 5–8 tall medium build looking for a lady friend, companion, hopefully more, i live near lowestoft, suffolk
Check out Just Suffolk Dating, we have lots of single ladies online right now! http://www.justsuffolkdating.co.uk/
Have a great day,
The Just Dating Group Team.
hi i m king iyke looking for a woman between 30 to 45 …nice and kind in heart
Good article, thank you for sharing. I am not a parent. I’m 40 years old and I signed my membership to this site for exactly the reasons your friend Amy was talking about. I am interested in meeting women – even if they have children. I am a man who expects the best, and have my sights set on the horizon not to find the next best thing, but to find the best thing and stick to it like super glue.
I would like to meet someone sincere, honest with a good sense of humor. Aged between 45-55 yes. My hobbies are traveling, reading and learning Spanish.
hi Ambr im ken 47 years old hobbies are all sports /walking/playing pool /music
eating out. love to talk to you
Hi my name John I lived in london I also learning spanish
i just want to meet a woman who will take me for wot i am lets get to no each other
Hi i am 42 years old
i would love to meet you
hello my name is siobhan i live in raphoe i have one daughter at 17 i am 44 years old hope to hear from you soon
hi Siobhan Kelly im ken live in ST.Austell where do you live
its not easy too date. especially you’re a single grandparent raising a grandchild.I know, once they know there is a child or grandchild, they exit out the door.
hi Patricia I,m 68yrs.old hoping to hear from you soon looking for a lady who,s sincere.
l wouldnt say having a child or children is a un-appealing not at all there are guys out there who have taken on other children , l am one of them and l brought 3 of them up for me its all about if you both get on and the spark is there good luck on your search l hope you find what you deserve