Can We Ever Really Forgive & Forget?


When it comes to cheating, can we ever really forgive and forget? This week, Hayley gives her thoughts on cheating and forgiveness. Here’s what she had to say…

This weekend I caught The First Wives Club on television. It’s a funny film about a group of disgruntled divorcees. It made me laugh but usually recovering from a partner cheating – or a relationship break up – is no laughing matter.

Can we really forgive and forget our partner’s misdemeanors?

It’s sad to think that boyfriends and husbands (or girlfriends and wives for that matter) will cheat. Unfortunately this expectation is based on the fact that in many relationships, men do stray. Even worse is when it has nothing to do with the woman. Sometimes people just do stupid things.

As a woman myself, I don’t want to play the victim card, but more often than not the decision is on us to choose whether to give him a second chance or to cut our losses. And it’s not always an easy choice. I appreciate that there may be children involved or maybe it really was a mistake. The point is the task of forgiveness is really hard. On top of that, moving on and effectively continuing the relationship is a tall order. The question of whether you can wholeheartedly trust someone who’s broken your faith in them seems impossible.

And if you are able to forgive and forget, who’s to decide that you should do those things anyway?

Case in point: a very very old ex who I remembered after watching the film. For a while it was like we were married. We had settled into a nice, comfortable pace of life. The sexiness hadn’t drained from our relationship and we were content with things.

At least that’s what I thought.

One day I came home to discover him in bed with another girl. To add insult to injury, it was my bed, in my apartment. His pad was being renovated so we were staying together.

OK so that’s a bit of an extreme example. Frankly if I had taken him back I would have been an idiot. Not to mention my family and friends never forgiving me for being a doormat. But I know tons of girl friends and acquaintances who have taken their men back for similar circumstances. All involve cheating and all involve a lot of anger management from the girls.

What do you think? Have you forgiven a partner and stayed together? We’d love to hear your thoughts on this, leave us a comment below.

Until next time,

The Just Singles Team.


2 responses to “Can We Ever Really Forgive & Forget?”

  1. Theresa says:

    I probably would have two years ago. But I believe in myself that I don’t think I could really trust my ex again. He has caused so much pain and anguish in and to my life. He has never been sorry for what he has done or how he has treated me and although I have forgiven him I am learning to live with me, forgiving me and building me back up again. What has happened will never go away, but as the time passes and the anger and hurt susbsides I find that I am now trying to rebuild my life again. Learning to like and see myself with a different view has helped me walk on. At least I know I can trust me and have enough integrity to treat people the way that I would like to be treated. And, I don’t have to answer to anyone but me and my God and that isn’t so bad after all. I’ve realised and my motto in life is, “Sooner or later we all end up in a single bed.”

  2. bill hubbard says:

    I think when you are getting now someone first is the best way to go and be friends