3 Dates 3 Months – WLTM TDH with GSOH*
Having come out of an abusive relationship, the 3 Dates 3 Months challenge has been a real test for Amy Marie (aka Cocktails in Teacups). But, we’re pleased to say it’s a test she’s faced head on and given it her all! And so, it’s time to find out how she got on with her second 3 Dates 3 Months challenge…
*Would like to meet, tall dark and handsome with good sense of humour.
Right, I just had this ingenious idea on how I can meet my true love this morning while watching Frozen. I’ve decided I need to get myself cursed by a witch/wizard/aliment. In fairy tales, Disney movies and even Once Upon a Time, true loves kiss fixes everything. But my theory is that if I get myself cursed then my friends and family line up eligible men to kiss me (I know, what a long shot) and the one that breaks the curse is obviously my true love! Saves all this trying to find dates and uncertainty as to whether or not it’s going anywhere or if it’ll even last. This guy would be my TRUE LOVE, so of course it is going to last. I’m not saying it’ll be easy, but if they can break a curse, we’re be supposed to be together, right? Now I just need to decide if I want to trade my legs in for a tail, prick my finger on a spinning wheel, eat a poisoned apple or let my sister freeze my heart..
I’m completely deluded…
ANYWAY, this months #3dates3mths update. You can catch up on all my other updates by following my #3dates3mths label. So far I’ve managed one challenge, I had a night out with my friends to a local bar. I swapped numbers but nothing came of it, this month I’m going to be talking about my experiences with online dating using our wonderful challenger, Just Singles.
I’m not stranger to online dating, Hayley of Strangeness and Charm talked me into signing up for agencies last year and I have managed to make one friend through it. Yes, in a year I’ve managed to maintain contact with one guy. I was hoping Just Singles would at least add a few more to that list, since I actually suck at meeting people in person. I say people but what I actually mean is I suck meeting men in person. Especially if I find them attractive. If I’m attracted to them I pretty much need to be drunk before I can pluck up the courage to hold a conversation with them. I’m brilliant at eye contact though… sorry, I’m on a tangent.
Yes, Just Singles. By taking part in #3dates3mths I was lucky enough to receive a six month membership to the Just Singles website. So I’ve been using it since February and today I’m going to share my experiences with online dating, and it’s not pretty.. I did genuinely want to be one of these people who met someone wonderful, but alas, no. Although I’m pretty much 100% sure it’s to do with where I live and not to do with the website. So before I get into all the nitty gritty of my misadventures, I want to tell you about Just Singles as a website because to be honest, I’d put it up there with some of the best as far as easiness to use, and honestly, you get used to the orange. You sign up and can send a mass message to all the sorts of people that fit into your criteria (you know, a/s/l, age, sex, location) to alert them of your presence. It’s a great way to bring people to your profile, get yourself notice and strike up a conversation. You can do this every day if you want so no fish would get away. It’s is a different feature and I have really enjoyed using it.
Right, my biggest problem has been, like it always is, is my location. I live in a small town, miles from everywhere and unfortunately that meant receiving messages from people that made my life miserable in school. Mainly because they don’t recognise me so they think it’s appropriate to hit on me, but it also means I won’t even entertain them. Also, as Just Singles is a fairly new dating website, it doesn’t have a lot of choice of people from this area that I don’t recognise. My nearest cities are over an hour away on a train, which can get expensive, but it also means I can only go during the day when my mum is either working, or reluctant to babysit. I’m now less flexible which of course, puts any potential dates off. Sigh.
Just Singles have many branches in their main website too, so there is something for everyone. Just recently they were posting on twitter about a Just Ginger Singles, hoping to entice Prince Harry to join! There is even a single parents branch, that over time I may just get up the nerve to join.
When I think about it, dating websites are no different when it comes to trying to meet someone in a bar after 11pm. You still get the same cheesy chat up lines “Are you okay? Because I’m sure you just fell from heaven” etc, but the difference when it comes to a dating website, you have the ability to press block. Which for me, is a bonus as I’m usually too awkward to tell a guy to “f*ck off” if they’re too much in my face (thankfully I have wonderful friends who do this for me!) I think online dating is a safety net for me, it’s comfortable and I don’t need to worry about how I look. At the moment I’m still very much walled in, I still don’t want to trust and I still very much have a hard time believing there could be someone out there who will treat me right. Being a member of Just Singles has been a great way for me to safely dip my toe back into the dating world, to find out what sort of a guy I am looking for (and remind me which ones I’m not) without really putting myself out there. And I have to be honest, I’ve needed this. Especially as I’m 100% positive I make a pretty bad first impression!
To read more from Amy Marie, check out her blog Cocktails in Teacups. You’ll also find her on Twitter, don’t be shy – say hello!
Until next time,
The Just Singles Team.