3 Dates 3 Months – The One With The Cheesecake


Find out how Nixalina (London’s answer to Carrie Bradshaw), got on in the second part of her 3 Dates 3 Months Challenge. Did she find true love on JustSingles.com? Let’s find out…


I’m going to be honest, I am definitely losing my zest for online dating. The few dates I’ve been on previously from other online dating sites left me bored and regretful of wasting those few hours of my evening with a man I knew I’d never wish to see again. Online dating was too chemical in my eyes; I am after organic love that springs up when you least expect it. Absent mindedly flicking through profiles as I chew on a sandwich that has wayyyyy too many calories for just a sandwich over my lunch break does not equate to true love. It equates to a fat arse though…tomorrow’s choice will be a light salad, after all that bikini body will not make itself.

And so with a huge behind and a skeptical mindset, I entered the #3dates3mths challenge with Just Singles. An online dating site for…you guessed it…just singles, I figured I’d give it a go. Well why not. So I set up my profile, added a few snaps (adding just one snap to an online profile is lazy and annoys me…you can’t *see* someone from just one photo) plus a generic bio that did not say what I actually do, and then I set myself to work. Not even I am arrogant enough to believe guys will want to date me having read that I am a ‘Sex and Dating Writer‘. I might as well state that I have 2 faces 12 fingers and 5 boobs – it is that much of a put-off to men.

My typical stance with online dating is, I read through the private messages I get, have a giggle to myself and/or vomit a bit at the things these dudes say, and then either delete or just close and move on. It is a flaw of mine (and many other females across the globe) that I dismiss the guys so very obviously interested, and chase the ones that are more aloof. Call it what you will: wanting what you can’t have, loving a bad boy, bored with ‘nice‘ boys etc etc the point is, this method of soul-mate searching blows. Reason being, you’re never going to be HAPPY. Chasing the bad men or the men that do not show you initial interest will only lead to ultimate misery. Probably great sex but…nothing emotionally stable or secure will follow the fab shags. So I decided to switch up my typical stance with Just Singles and actually REPLY to the men who showed interest in me first. After all, this was a ‘challenge‘ I might as well embrace it.

Alongside with this, I also decided to not dismiss guys on their photos. Listen and listen very carefully to me now…we ALL judge books by covers. We ALL dismiss great chat and banter with people we deem not good looking enough for us. We are shallow creatures who gravitate towards beauty like forest flowers search out the sunlight. This is a fact. Beauty drives us and beauty defines us. So with this in mind you can see why online dating is much too chemical for my eyes…because we will only ever respond to those who we think look hot in their pictures, with total disregard to whether we found them mediocre, boring, dull or had nothing in common. Just Singles forced me to do the opposite…to engage with guys I wouldn’t usually pick out in a bar or go out of my way to chat up. And what did I find? Gems. Absolute gems.

I chatted to these guys and found that, refreshingly, they were actually interested in conversation too. Just Singles seem to have created an ‘air‘ of honesty with their site, and unlike others such as ‘Plenty of F*cking‘ as I call it, sex is not the undertones of Just Singles. What it offers its members is the actual real chance to find real love, or something similar. I hate the fact that most dating sites have the subtext of sex and the guys often open up with sleezy one liners about after ‘just fun‘. Gross. No idea how they’ve done it but Just Singles have a whole host of decent men after much more than a cheap quicky. Once I bothered to actually message them back on the basis of their banter and their credentials, I started to really enjoy engaging in conversation. I liked to find out more about them, and the less I bothered to pick about their photos and the more we chatted, the more I was wishing to actually meet them. Trust me this is a break-through people…I was once subconsciously shallower than the toddler’s pool in a waterpark. And alas, with looks often came the lack of need to settle and the lack of loyalty in the bedroom, which does not make a happy Nixie.

So yes, I went on an actual date with an actual man from an actual online DATING *not sexing* site. And I had a f*cking great time. No, he was not my normal type but it didn’t matter. We got on swimmingly. He made me actually LOL – I was laughing out loud. In the real context not just the overused abbreviation. I laughed into my cocktail, I giggled through my main course and I think I snorted through dessert. You know someone is f*cking hilarious if they make you snort through cheesecake. It was the most fun I had had on a date in forever. And due to his vibrant youthful energetic personality and NOT his perfectly coiffed hair and cheekbones, I kissed him after dinner goodnight. He was truly a great guy. Will I see him again? I don’t know. I don’t know how ready I truly am yet to settle down…I’ve got that inner unsettled feeling that I have so much more to do and places to go first, but that’s a different story altogether. So I’ll leave it here with a thank you to Just Singles for forcing me to see the error of my ways and making me have, finally, one hell of a first date.

To read more from Sex & London City, check out her blog here. And make sure you follow her on Twitter to keep up to date with all the latest #3dates3mths news!

Until next time,

The Just Singles Team.